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Okay, refreshing Google News every fifteen seconds hoping for something more illuminating than blog posts labeled as news is only fueling my frustration. (I've also found two more books I want to read. What is this, now I find published fiction that actually piques my interest?)

So instead I search for lulz. This one cheered me up immensely:

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile from Lindsay Lohan

Oh, Lindsey Lohan. Mocking eHarmony gets you points in my books. She's also looking much healthier than she has in a long time.