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Ymagyne Greater (Fragmented Sentences?)
The SciFi channel has decided to break its bonds from its geeky foundations and forge ahead into a brave new broadcasting world, and to do that it must change its long cherished, and due to the occasional unfortunate programming errors decisions, sometimes misleading name to...
...SyFy.
Because you know, that's going to make it look cooler. Of course, television and network executives are always lagging a little behind the popular curve, so they missed the memo that ¡7'§ @££ b33n þ0n3 b3ƒ0r€ 1n 4n 3qµ4££¥ 1rr17471n9 m4nn3r.
Luckily, I found the(¥ƒ3r cypher to decode what they were really hoping to get out of all of this: $¢¥₣¥
Oops, my bad, I left that peskyc¢ in there. No one wants your measly pennies. Give us whole, round dollars, your yen, and your Francs. Sorry, we cannot except the Euro yet due to Network Executive Lag.
Sadly, I think I agree with one article when it said that The Mansquito Network would have been a better choice. Honestly, I don't know what'smore insulting funnier, the hip new name, or the fact that someone actually seems to think that deliberately misspelling a word will make it girlier and more appealing to female audiences. Of course I'm lying. No one would ever say anything so insulting as:
"We’ll get the heritage and the track record of success, and we’ll build off of that to build a broader, more open and accessible and relatable and human-friendly brand." Because it was completely unrelatable and alien before. That's why it never had any... success? Wait.
"When we tested this new name, the thing that we got back from our 18-to-34 techno-savvy crowd, which is quite a lot of our audience, is actually this is how you’d text it" Let's see, traditional texters who apparently talk about the SciFi channel will now have to tap "777799993339999" instead of "7777222444333444"? Yes. I can see their point. Completely.
“The name Sci Fi has been associated with geeks and dysfunctional, antisocial boys in their basements with video games and stuff like that, as opposed to the general public and the female audience in particular.” Because I certainly needed someone to chase away the pimply, gawking fanboys so I could relate to the material. I swear, it was like walking into a comic store every time I changed the channel. I could feel their eyes undressing me!
“We spent a lot of time in the ’90s trying to distance the network from science fiction, which is largely why it’s called Sci Fi” ...good job there, champ. Maybe you should have taken a page from TNN and, ya know, actually changed it to something completely different?
"The new campaign will use the slogan “Imagine Greater,” which Mr. Howe thinks will resonate with both consumers and media buyers." This one speaks for itself.
“Look at the everyday and how you can turn it to the extraordinary. It’s an aspirational, optimistic message about enhancing people’s lives.” But don't look at proper grammar in a marketing message. That's bad.
"So it’s changing your name without changing your name" Then the point of spending all of this money was...?
Thanks Network Lag, for once again proving that Hollywood truly has fired anyone with a grasp on reality.
...SyFy.
Because you know, that's going to make it look cooler. Of course, television and network executives are always lagging a little behind the popular curve, so they missed the memo that ¡7'§ @££ b33n þ0n3 b3ƒ0r€ 1n 4n 3qµ4££¥ 1rr17471n9 m4nn3r.
Luckily, I found the
Oops, my bad, I left that pesky
Sadly, I think I agree with one article when it said that The Mansquito Network would have been a better choice. Honestly, I don't know what's
"We’ll get the heritage and the track record of success, and we’ll build off of that to build a broader, more open and accessible and relatable and human-friendly brand." Because it was completely unrelatable and alien before. That's why it never had any... success? Wait.
"When we tested this new name, the thing that we got back from our 18-to-34 techno-savvy crowd, which is quite a lot of our audience, is actually this is how you’d text it" Let's see, traditional texters who apparently talk about the SciFi channel will now have to tap "777799993339999" instead of "7777222444333444"? Yes. I can see their point. Completely.
“The name Sci Fi has been associated with geeks and dysfunctional, antisocial boys in their basements with video games and stuff like that, as opposed to the general public and the female audience in particular.” Because I certainly needed someone to chase away the pimply, gawking fanboys so I could relate to the material. I swear, it was like walking into a comic store every time I changed the channel. I could feel their eyes undressing me!
“We spent a lot of time in the ’90s trying to distance the network from science fiction, which is largely why it’s called Sci Fi” ...good job there, champ. Maybe you should have taken a page from TNN and, ya know, actually changed it to something completely different?
"The new campaign will use the slogan “Imagine Greater,” which Mr. Howe thinks will resonate with both consumers and media buyers." This one speaks for itself.
“Look at the everyday and how you can turn it to the extraordinary. It’s an aspirational, optimistic message about enhancing people’s lives.” But don't look at proper grammar in a marketing message. That's bad.
"So it’s changing your name without changing your name" Then the point of spending all of this money was...?
Thanks Network Lag, for once again proving that Hollywood truly has fired anyone with a grasp on reality.
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"We spent a lot of time in the ’90s trying to distance the network from science fiction."
Because, absolutely, the people you want to manage and market a niche product are people with general contempt for that product and its audience! Imagine how well Harlequin would be doing if they were run by people who "tried to distance their books from romance" and described their readers as a bunch of fat middle-aged housewives.
Or, I don't know, like a knitting-supply shop changing its name to LAND O'STUFF and tossing out the yarn to make room on the shelves for cheese, donuts and auto parts... because everyone knows knitters don't have any money to spend. (SO WHY BUY A KNITTING SHOP IN THE FIRST PLACE, YOU UTTER MORONS.)
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I mean, seriously, nothing says "my new best friend" like blatant stereotyping and ill-disguised disdain. So maybe rather than "Imagine Greater" the slogan should be, "You SUCK! Buy my stuff! :D"
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In context this line is hysterical; out of context, it's amazing!
(the rest of the post is pretty dang awesome as well. As for the "rebranding" itself, well, it's not like we didn't already know Skiffy was staffed by idiots, but it's always nice to have proof...)
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Re: i h8 u 4 b31ng s0 @w3s0m3, & @7$0 4 br3@k1ng mai keyb04rd
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Re: i h8 u 4 b31ng s0 @w3s0m3, & @7$0 4 br3@k1ng mai keyb04rd
Re: i h8 u 4 b31ng s0 @w3s0m3, & @7$0 4 br3@k1ng mai keyb04rd
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I swear, the Scifi- ehem, excuse me Syfy- execs are pulling a Howard Hughes. They're going crazy.
I have so much to say to this, yet I don't have the words.
Just... guh.
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*shakes head*
*laughs at grey's comments*
*syghs agayn*
Check out Joe M's post here, not so much for content as for his choice of spellings!! I think we can guess how he feels about it too!!
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Gyrl Power.
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Just leaving aside how very much I hate the assumption that I, an actual female-type person, can't possibly enjoy science fiction, I loathe companies that hate on their own natural customer bases. "Oh, no, geeks! Who naturally all live in their mothers' basements because they can't handle social interaction! We hate them!" If you assume that's the only audience you can draw by showing science fiction, and you hate that audience, then don't show science fiction at all! It's simple! If you want
methe college sorority chick to watch, and you think she won't watch a drama if it's about killer robots in outer space or a lighter drama about an everyman if it's about how he's stuck in a town of quirky science geniuses or fluff if it's about hot explorers in outer space or an all-ages show if it's about aliens in time machines ... then, y'know, don't buy up the rights to them.I imagine greater, all right. I imagine greater incoherency as they mangle their shows even further to wedge in yet more monster-movie-of-the-week ads. I imagine greater obscuring of the first 20 seconds back from any commercial break as their screen bugs take over the entire screen instead of just the entire bottom half. I imagine greater network interference in shows because dictating things like character hairstyles just isn't damaging enough. I imagine greater abandonment of shows I might be interested in because they're showing more of their poorly made movies or reality garbage or wrestling. I imagine greater time away from my television, actually, so that works for me ....
[/rant] Heh. Sorry about that.
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Ahahaha well said.
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You mean that clever Monty Python camouflage isn't working? Damn!
I imagine greater obscuring of the first 20 seconds back from any commercial break as their screen bugs take over the entire screen instead of just the entire bottom half.
AMEN.
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Well, I'm a girl *pets her little plastic Sheppard* and don't worry hon, I don't think you're 'stuff'. You're a fantastically detailed 7-inch tall exclusive insouciant Acton Figure in your black Field Ops uniform with various series-accurate accessories (http://www.amazon.com/Stargate-Atlantis-Sheppard-Previews-Exclusive/dp/B000PALEDC/ref=pd_sim_t_1) and I'm gonna buy all three (http://www.amazon.com/Stargate-Atlantis-Colonel-John-Sheppard/dp/B001221WHA/ref=pd_bxgy_t_img_c) of you (http://www.play.com/Gadgets/Gadgets/4-/5599057/Stargate-Atlantis-Garrison-Uniform-John-Sheppard-Action-Figure/Product.html), and (http://www.amazon.com/Stargate-Atlantis-Ronon-Action-Figure/dp/B00192H3RG/ref=pd_sim_t_4) all (http://www.amazon.com/Diamond-Select-Stargate-Atlantis-Action/dp/B0016LE4J0/ref=pd_sim_t_1) your (http://www.amazon.com/Diamond-Select-Stargate-Atlantis-Action/dp/B0016LE4IQ/ref=pd_sim_t_2) friends (http://www.amazon.com/Stargate-Atlantis-Series-1-Wraith/dp/B001223HK0/ref=pd_sim_t_4) and line you up in the window because I don't have a basement. (And besides, it's called a Command Center.)
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GyrlsGirls can't like action figures, or want to buy things that are not featured on shows like Sex and the City, such as obscenely expensive and uncomfortable shoes. YOURARE BREAKING MY MARKETERS BRAIN! People must be put into easily labeled boxes! How else can we connect with them and get them to listen to us?!And besides, it's called a Command Center.
XD
*♥'s you*
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And now that I've read the press release I just. Have no words?
...one of these days, somebody's going to start a network for geeks. And now I am imagining just how great that would be. ♥ Especially when they make enough profit in a season to buy SyFy wholesale; keep everyone who made this decision on board; and rename it to something more appropriate. Such as. "U SUCK!". (Of course, that sort of refreshing honesty might actually work a weird kind of reverse psychology and make people watch anyway.) ...really, I can't come up with anything lamer than SyFy but ANYWAY.
Then the geek channel would own the license to all of SyFy's stuff, and could get right to making good TV!
See? I'm feeling better already.
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And yeah... it's amazing what happens when you treat people, your audience, your customers even, like they might have a few brain cells to rub together. I mean, it's not like geeks have ever built (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Dell) financial (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_gates) empires (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_jobs), so it's not like they could make any money... oh wait (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet).
I would love a real, honest-to-god geek channel. I think they could kick serious butt and produce some really quality television. Oh... *dreamy sigh*
Of course, that sort of refreshing honesty might actually work a weird kind of reverse psychology and make people watch anyway.
All I can say to that is: HEE!