Improbable Off-the-Wall Wish List for the Remainder of SGA's Season Five

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I've managed to offically wean myself off of spoielrs for the rest of the season. So to satsify that addictive, WANTNEEDNOW portion of my brain, I've concocted a list of all the things that would MAKE MY MILLENIUM if it just so happened to appear on screen. A few of them are beyond pipe-dream status, and no, you cannot judge me.

Some spoilers for the first six episodes of the season. Maybe updated if for some reason TPTB are reading my mind and grant some of my list. 


Improbable Off-the-Wall Wish List for the Remainder of Season Five:

• Rodney delivers Teyla's baby  5x01 - Search and Rescue
• We see Atlantis's lightswitches  5x02 - The Seed
• We see a bathroom in Atlantis  5x03 - Broken Ties
• John and Rodney drinking beer and bonding  5x06 - The Shrine
• McShep Hug  (I'm taking "The Shrine" and being happy with it.)
• Teyla and Ronon Buddy Adventure 4TW! (A real adventure. Not "Oh, you're off on another planet and ZAP--sorry about that, plot advancement time!")  Teyla and Ronon saving the galaxy, possibly from something John and Rodney started, is optional, but appreciated.
• Snarkfest 2009 - 42 minutes of almost uninterrupted snark -- with explosions when they pause for breath.
• Rodney announces his undying love for bacon
• It is revealed that one of Carson's greatest secret fears is of Enhydra lutris origin
• The puddlejumper breaks down with the entire crew in front of an abandoned Ancient Outpost. Scooby Doo-like hijinks ensue. (Yes, yes, I'm planning on writing this, but I can still WISH for it)
• Team Dork Sheppard Road Trip!
• Teyla discovers a deep, borderline fanatical love for Wayne Newton on the team road trip
• Ronon drives a car on the team road trip. Chaos ensues.
• John says "Don't make me turn this car/puddlejumper/Ancient warship around"... possibly all three at the same time. While on the team road trip.
• There's a distinct possibility I really want that hypothetical team road trip
• Parrish, the one-minute canon wonder, returns
• Lorne paints some more. Barefoot. Without a shirt.
• We get a "The Chucknician Demands an Explanation for this Bullshit" pose
• The Last Action Rodney - complete with Rodney saving the day action hero style, with John Sheppard playing the role of damsel-in-distress/obligatory-action-hero-teenage-daughter
• The Last Action Woolsey - ...see above. But with added gratuitous McWhump.
• Adventures in Torren Babysitting - The "Uncles" babysit. Chaos ensues.
• Canon confirmation on whether John or Dave is the older/younger brother.
• John rides a motorcycle. In a leather jacket. Helmet is optional.
• Did I mention more scenes with Teyla and Ronon together? I love their friendship almost as much as John and Rodney's.
• oh, and sure, I guess I could do with some more McWhump. I mean, if I HAD to. Twist my arm. Go ahead.
• I am on crack. Yes.

ETA (totally snurched from the comments):

• Rodney winning the Nobel prize - naye 
• Bodyswap! - Team continually switches bodies for an entire episode, that way everyone can play everyone else. HEE! - naye 
• TIMELOOPS - naye  (I can't believe I left this one out. We must have a canon timeloop episode!)
• B-Team saves the day, for realz - xparrot 

Hey, I never claimed that they were at all realistic, or that anyone else on the face of the planet would want to see some of them. Except the Rodney/Bacon OTP. I know everyone is on board the McBacon train. Anyone have their own improbable/off-the-wall list? The sky (and network restrictions) is the limit!

ETA: leesa_perrie  has made her own list here. Bwaha!