There was actually a really nice story someone wrote that genderswapped both John and Rodney's roles, but didn't give them those hang ups. They still came across as almost the same characters, but there were differences due to the fact that they were of a different gender. They couldn't talk to each other any better as females than males, but they still had the same level of depth. Wish I could remember the name.

But yes, I think that is the problem with a lot of stuff. Not only things written for younger audiences, but in general. They focus entirely too much on a character's gender, rather than the character itself.

They do this just in CASE you forget that, golly, that thing has a bajingo but she sure can fight, even though(!) her sexual organs are on the inside. And then when they try to do the opposite, they make asexual or butch women, because you can't leave your gender issues behind without leaving your whole gender in the closet

Actually, there's an upcoming episode of SGA that should be very interesting in light of this discussion, but I will talk to you about that on gmail chat to keep spoilers from leaking into the discussion.