You are so easily amused. Give you explosions, h/c, and cool effects and you go into a catatonic state. Heh! I'll probably never see it, too much blah for me to care for it, but IJ, I might take a look since all I've heard about it are really positive things.

As for your story, it works, so don't worry now, you can always delete and rewrite anything you don't like. It might help tightened your story once you're done and know exactly what you need and don't.

And I do hope you like my original piece, hopefully I'll have it done sometime this century. And before Jul since I'm doing the Family Haven ficathon and plan to write a lot of stories for it!