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Character Meme (gone out of control)

~~The Character Meme~~ ~~That Turned Into~~ ~~Fic~~ ~~Crack~~ ~~Snarkapalooza~~ We'll just go with character meme.

Originally from

mumumugen, who after knowing me for more than a decade, should really know better than to encourage me in matters such as this.

.:Rules:. (in which I blatantly disregard two out of the three)
1. Choose a few of your own characters. Five at the most
2. Make them answer the following questions
3. Then tag three people. (...go on, I dare ya.)

.:Characters:.
John Sheppard (SGA)
Rodney McKay (SGA)
I was going to do three others, but two someones took over. You're all shocked, I know.

.:Questions:.

1) How Old Are You?
John:
Like many aspects of my past, including whether I am the older or younger brother, it is shrouded in mystery.

He's 42.

...Rodney!

Oh c'mon. I can rewrite the base code for an entire race of robots with daddy issues. Your personnel files are nothing.

Rodney:
40. See, I'm not ashamed of it, unlike some people.

Put a cork in it.

2) Height?
John:
...seeing as how my life is an open book due to careless hacking, I'll go with an even six feet tall.

Is that counting Teh Hair?

You know, I'm not butting in on your answers.

Rodney:
5' 11"

Actually he's three-foot-one. The rest of the height is made up by his Napoleon Complex.

I thought you said you weren't butting in!

I lied.

3) You got any bad habits?
John:
Well I’ve got some—

Flirting with everything in sight.

Will you knock it off?

Strapping himself to nuclear devices.

That was once.

Lieutenant Colonel Cockblocker.

...what?

Does the name Norina ring a bell, Sheppard?

Not my fault she wanted a real man.

Rodney:
He also snores. And kicks in his sleep. I keep trying to share a tent with Teyla, but no, it’s like some alien conspiracy to make people from their own galaxies consort with only—

Rodney wets the bed.

Hey! That was an isolated childhood issue, and I’d thank you to stop bringing it up in public.

There's also the issue of lack of tact.

Excuse me? I'm very polite!

He also throws like a girl.

I don’t think that counts as a habit—

4) You a virgin?
John:
To cut off any smart remarks, no. However I am not the James T. Kirk that some believe to me to be.

Rodney:
Yes, he is.

No one was asking you.

5) Who's your Mate/Spouse?
John:
Divorced.

Rodney:
Well it would have been Katie, but there were unforeseen circumstances—

Unforeseen? You took back the engagement ring, Rodney. That's a key indicator there.

I wanted to take things slow!

There's a difference in putting on the brakes and jamming the car straight into reverse.

Well, when you count the deceleration factors—

6) Have Any Kids?
John:
Not that he knows of.

Damn it, McKay!

Rodney:
All of the scientists in the labs are his children. He coos to them every night like the good mother hen he is.

You're not funny, I hope you know.
You stop and I'll stop.

Oh, it's on.

7) Favorite Food?
John:
I really enjoy a nice cold glass of lemonade, with a good portion of lemon chicken, and to top it off, some lemon meringue pie for dessert.

I am never eating another meal with you ever again.

Success!

Rodney:
Coffee. With a nice side of—Sheppard get that away from me! Anaphylaxis is not a laughing matter!

Relax, it's plastic.

Still, not funny!

I laughed.

You would.

8) Favorite Ice Cream flavor?
John:
The one that Rodney's not eating.

Rodney:
How is that an answer? Actually, while I'm thinking about it, who's asking these stupid questions?

9) Killed anyone?
John:
...it comes with the job.

Rodney:
Give me a few more minutes, and your answer will probably be a yes, O Mysterious Voice.

10) Hate anyone?
John:
Not very fond of Kolya, the Wraith, Michael, Woolsey's on my short list—

Rodney:
Refer to previous answer.

Hey!

You came at me with faux citrus!

11) Any Secrets?
John:
I reference question number one, I am a man shrouded in mystery—

What do you want to know? I've got his whole life story right here.

Give me that!

Rodney:
Unlike some people, my life is an open book—

His password is 1-6-4-3-1-8-7-9-1-9-6-8.

Excuse me! Security breach to the strange questioning voice? And how the hell do you know that?

You told me.

I did not!

You forget many things said under the influence of the Ruus wine. Like a certain tidbit about how you think Dr. Keller has a real nice—

Shut up.

12) Love Anyone?
John:
I like my team pretty good.

And every woman that walks by.

Rodney:
Well, I—

Himself.

I can answer these myself, thank you very much.

13) Tacos?
John:
Are crunchy? I don't see the point of the question.

Rodney:
Thank god! I’m famished and—please tell me you didn’t put lime juice in these. Oh, god, where's my radio? I need Carson—no wait, Keller—no wait, Elizabeth is still here so that means that it could be either depending if we're pre- or post- tumor incident... I don’t know which doctor to call!

14) Ever slept in all day?
John:
Not by choice no. But Carson and his drugs are very persuasive.

Rodney:
If only I could. But no, someone has to make sure the city stays afloat while some people go off and get whumped every other fanfic—

Fourth wall, Rodney, fourth wall.

15) Eye colors?
John:
I just don’t spend all day looking in the mirror unlike some people I know.

Rodney:
Blue, and I do not.

16) Hair?
John:
(suspicious) What about my hair?

Rodney:
We're theorizing that it's developed its own sense of awareness over the years. If you pay attention really closely, you can tell what mood he's in by the direction the follicles sway—

What the hell are you talking about?

Your hair.

You're supposed to be talking about your hair, genius.

My hair's fine, as I can still fit it and myself in the same zip code.

Leave my hair alone!

Ooh, touchy.

I'll show you touchy!

17) Fat/Average/Slim?
John:
I'm declining to answer this question as I need my concentration to continue to hold McKay in a head lock. _...(slim)

Rodney:
Nng! I'm telling Elizabeth! _...(average)_{(on the chubby side) (am not! let me go!)}

18) Rain, sunshine?
John:
Say uncle yet? _(sunshine)

Rodney:
I'm so filing charges after this! _(rain)

19) Pool, Beach?
John:
That would require me letting you go first. _{(beach, waves, surf)}

Rodney:
Ow! Stop it! Noogies are for high school bullies! Damn it! STOP! _{(hello, drowning incident? dry land.)}

20) Camping, staying home?
John:
I like camping. It's fun.

Rodney:
...frickasicka, let's see how he likes having cold showers for the rest of eternity... muttergrumble... rig the doors to close the moment before he walks through so he's constantly smashing his nose... oh, I wonder what this device does? pzzzt!

Um, Rodney, what just happened to my feet?

21) Dog, Cat?
John:
Even though I am a dog person, I'm going to say cat. Now can I have my feet back? This stool is really uncomfortable.

Rodney:
Do you think I want your hairy monkey feet? That I'm holding them hostage because I got tired of my own? No, I don't! And who the hell builds a device that switches people's feet? That's utterly pointless! Oh, and answering cat does not equal an apology about threatening me with fake citrus, by the way. Now, just let me cross these wires and... pzzzt!

Thank you.

You're not welcome. Oh, and cat.

22) Believe in aliens?
John:
Kind of hard not to at this point.

Rodney:
It's not a matter of believing in them, rather whether or not I believe what they say. Now Ronon and Teyla are generally trustworthy, but I've found the non-human Pegasus natives (and a few select human populations) to be altogether unreliable in—

23) What do you do to relax?
John:
I poke Rodney. It's fun.

Rodney:
Relax? Who the hell has time to relax? Do you know what I have to deal with on a daily basis? Heck, I can't even go on a visit home without being kidnapped by the Trust—

He likes being poked. He also finds it fun.

You're a lying liar that lies on his way through Liarville!

24) Car or Ship...?
John:
Spaceship.

Rodney:
I can die horribly in both, especially if he's in the driver's seat.

Hey...

25) What is your job?
John:
Full-time babysitter.

Rodney:
Sadly, I have no other time on my hands since I'm always having to come up with some quick solution to save ungrateful lieutenant colonels out of whatever mess they've gotten in, because looking before you leap over that cliff isn't fun at all.

He’s the baby.

Hey!

26) Any unusual things about you?

John:
Did I mention Teh Hair™? And the uncanny resemblance to Kirk? And the Death Wish™?

Rodney:
My name is Rodney. Everything about me is unusual.

27) Boy or girl?
John:
Male, because otherwise my womanizing ways would be very confusing to my fellow girls.

Seriously, one priestess and I'm manwhore of the century?

So you did sleep with her!

That's still none of your business! And the fact that you care so much really concerns me. Do we need to have a talk with Heightmeyer?

I'm not sure. What season are we answering this in? I think we've managed to mix everything together in one big lump.

Once again, Rodney, fourth wall.

Whatever. Let us break this down, in order of Kirking:

Teyla

What was the definition of "Kirking" again?

Sora

Really, I thought this was about "seducing the alien priestess". I just smiled at her.

Chaya
Teyla

Why do you keep listing Teyla?

Freaky-Wraith-Disguised-As-A-Hot-Chick

That was you!

Oh... right.

Girl in hive ship

How did you find out about that?

Ascension Girl Numero Two

Do you mean Teer?

I knew her for all of thirty seconds, I’m not going to bother with her name.

Slutty Princess Girl

Um... her name was Mara

See? This is me not caring.

Elizabeth

I have not "Kirked" Elizabeth! Or Teyla for that matter!

Norina!

That was just fun.

MY SISTER

I did nothing to your sister!

Yet!

Kidnapper/Inexplicably Young and Sexy Space Pirate Leader

Larrin?

Larrin again, this time with strange alien bondage with tubing action

Yeah, I didn't get that either.

Female!Chuck

Okay, seriously, what is the basis for this list? Being in the same room as a woman?

Flora
Mardola
Harmony

...McKay, she's fourteen!

I know, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Your Ex-Wife

Wait? Did you say this went in order?

Lorne

WHAT?

I'm serious.

I thought this was a list of women I've supposedly Kirked.

I decided to expand it.

There was no Kirk action going on with Lorne.

You two shared a significant look before you were tossed forward 48,000 years into the future, so yeah, it's totally going on the list.

I think someone's going to need to give you the "Birds and the Bees" talk

Todd

...that’s disgusting/horrible/wrong-in-so-many-ways.

Ronon

You’re just spewing out names now

What?

You totally did!

There was this look, and it made me really uncomfortable and—

That's it, we're done with the list!

Spoilsport.

It got creepy. And how the hell did you come up with that long of a list anyway?

I've got a good memory.

Wait, what's that on your laptop?

Nothing.

There is something! You've got—what the hell is "The Kirk Effect.xls" supposed to be?

Rodney: ^{(the question was Boy or Girl? for those who have forgotten)}
With a name like Meredith, it makes you wonder.

Jeannie is never allowed to tell you anything ever again! In fact, I don't want you speaking to my sister at all!

Ouch. Someone's cranky. Did you miss nap time?

All right, enough with the baby jokes!

28) Favorite Place?
John:
Y'know, anywhere is cool. _Atlantis.

Rodney:
Anywhere he isn't.

You don't mean that.

Yes I mean that! I've been trying to work for the past hour but you and this mysterious questioning voice that I can't seem to deny answering won't leave me the hell alone!

We just want to be closer to you.

You seriously creep me out when you do that.

You're the one who has this strange obsessive fixation with my love life.

She was a security issue!

Okay, Chaya I grant you. But the fact that you've been trying to document "The Kirk Effect" in an Excel spreadsheet is disturbing. Wait a second, is that a character form from Legend of the Red Dragon?

Next question please.

29) Do you like pancakes?
John:
Sure.

Rodney:
I used to. Then Ronon tried to kill me with one.

30) Last words?
John:
Well—

"So long, Rodney", for one.

Okay, you really need to get over that.

Not according to fandom.

I don't think you comprehend the concept behind the fourth wall.

"Rodney, vent the atmosphere."

You know, I'm not going to apologize for trying to save Earth, the expedition, or anyone else.

If you won't try to stay alive, I'd ask you to have the decency to stop trying to make me do it!

Oh.

Dork.

Rodney:
Geek. _{Batman of Outer Space}

Grunt. _{Guy Who Goes to the Bottom of the Ocean Without Proof of Life}

Dweeb. _{Pretty Damn Smart}

Kirk. _{Stupidly Brave}

Loudmouth. _{Dives in After Me Without Thought (but not without girly scream)}

Lothario. _{Willing to Sell His Soul to Save Me (which is terrifying frankly)}

Napoleon Complex. _Buddy.

Martyr Syndrome. _John.

...I think we can stop now.

Oh, thank god. What the hell was that voice? Did you touch something while I wasn’t looking?

You've been pretty adamant about the "hands in pocket" rule ever since the whole Invisible Dog Leash Incident. Besides, I wasn't the one who switched our feet.

I'm a scientist, I was experimenting!

Rodney.

What?

Sign off.

Fine.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

This was way too much fun! :D Too many favorite lines to list! The Kirking spreadsheet, oh god. And I did really love how it got sweet for a minute at the end there, too.

There is the possibility... I spent too much time on this. But Rodney is very organized, and his thorough dedication to documentation needed to be preserved for posterity.

And I did really love how it got sweet for a minute at the end there, too.

I can't resist a little bit of schmoop. They're such softies underneath their snarly exteriors.

*Saving in SGA fiction file to reread at leisure*

Too Funny, OMG!!! You Rule!

Hee! I got saved! :D Glad you enjoyed!

Oh wow. You do realise that no one's picking up this meme because no one could top this, don't you. Sheer genius - voices are spot on, funny and inspired - and the spreadsheet is wonderful. Great stuff. :D

Oh wow. You do realise that no one's picking up this meme because no one could top this, don't you.

But... but... Ronon and Teyla deserve a chance too! And Radek!

Sheer genius - voices are spot on, funny and inspired - and the spreadsheet is wonderful. Great stuff. :D

Thank you! The spreadsheet does seem to be popular. But c'monnn... nobody wants to try?

Nobody?

Bueller?

That was a bundle of (fourth wall) fun! Thank you for sharing it! :)

Hee! Thanks! I think Rodney cheated to get that drama award he claims he won. He just tears through that wall like a... like a... strong thing tearing its way through something flimsy!

- Larrin again, this time with strange alien bondage with tubing action.
- Yeah, I didn't get that either.

*laughs and laughs*

The Kirk Effect Excel spreadsheet *g* - This is hilarious.

Thanks! I live to entertain -- and to try and make my f-list spit their drink out onto their screen/keyboard.

SEE? I told you it was a good idea to go ahead with this meme, even with SGA. I told you. Look at aaaall the nice people, look at ALL the nice people telling you what a good job you did.

SO MAYBE YOU WERE A LITTLE RIGHT. IT WAS FUN AND CRACKED GOODNESS.

Oops, /capslock.

And yes, they're all so very nice to stroke my fragile little ego as they are.

On a random note: "The buttah just sliiiides on, jah?"

Fun, but a little disturbing in places! I guess that's what happens when you put those two together.

Those two? Cross lines? NEVER.

Too much fun, though. I think for those unfilled slots in the back half of Season 5, JM should pencil in "Snarkfest 2009". The episode would be a fan favorite, for sure.

JM should pencil in "Snarkfest 2009". The episode would be a fan favorite, for sure.
I think it would have to beat the heck out of much of last season!

Forty-two minutes of constant sniping at each other (we can throw a few explosions in for the revered 18-25 male demographic); imagine the quoting that would sweep the net for years to come.

...I guess I can settle for that spoiler I saw for the season finale, if it's true.

Spoiler? Don' know nuthin' about no spoilers.

Explosions could, of course, just provide more reasons for John and Rodney to snipe (although, now that I think about it, "Harmony" was almost 42 minutes of sniping with a few explosions in...).

See, I was very vague so as to not spoil you or anyone else. I might have a spoiling post of squee later if it looks like it's actually true.

I can definitely see Rodney having a few choice words about explosions... but I guess I can take "Harmony" as my Snarkfest '08... but I want Snarkfest '09!

Yes, I appreciate your circumspection (circumspectness?) about spoilers!

I'll vote for Snarkfest '09! Without the snark, "Harmony" would have been a waste of an episode; with the snark--and the painting--it was a lot of fun.

I know some people hated it... but god, I swear, that painting made my month. I'd love another "Harmony" type snarkisode, but with less fourteen year olds (even though she's kind of grown on me a little), and maybe a few more explosions.

You can never have too many explosions.

LOL and LOL again!! Soooo funny!!!

I love their voices - the spreadsheets were hilarious - and thanks for the link to my story!! LOL!! Ronon tried to kill him with a pancake ... yeah, I can see Rodney thinking that!!

Oh, gonna have to save this one to read again...!!

(I need a John-giving-Rodney-noogies icon now)

As soon as I saw the pancake question, the first thing that popped into my mind was that part of your story. (Actually, a few other questions reminded me of some other fanfics, but yours was the easiest to reference ;)

As for the spreadsheets... I have no defense for them.

*blinks* Waayyyyy too much time on your hands. Lol!

Says YOU.

Says me! Then again, reading it implies the same. Damn, need to go back to my cave now. Stalk, stalk, stalk!

But reading it is great cracked fun right? It brightens up that gloomy stalker cave so much.

*pins newest batch of photos of grey at work*

Well, it is. It sure cracked me up, but then, I am cracked in the head, so I don't know if that's a good thing.

*digs through Grey's trash* You know, your eating habits worry me. Maybe I should start cooking you food so you can stay alive and healthier longer. *crazed grin*

*fills out change of address form; moves in the dead of night; finds a new job*

You know, this is starting to get a bit unhealthy.

What? *looks innocently at Grey*

So, um, new job huh? *gets together with Leesa and hacks through the internet information* And a new address? You know, I so love challenges!!

*maniacal laugh*

*goes into Witness Protection Program*

This? Was *hysterical*! I am so bookmarking this with the fanfiction I plan to read. I could actually hear the two of them in my head (especially Rodney) :) Also? the spreadsheets were awesome. Um, I am currently here in lurker status, but would it be okay if I friended you?

Friend away! The more the merrier!

Glad you enjoyed! As soon as I saw the question about the hair, I knew I had to do it... although I have no idea where the spreadsheet came from. I think I was possessed.

Hehe..

Have no idea how I came across this, but it this was funny, along with other things on this blog(website?!).

Nice to know that there are others out there just crazy as myself I no longer feel alone.

Glad I could entertain! And yes, you're not alone! There's always room for one more in the asylum.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Character Meme (gone out of control)

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